So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
