Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The Olympian is in my bed
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