so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
