Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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