My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
