does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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