I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
