Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
