My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
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