Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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