I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
