Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
