i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
this beer tastes like vomit already
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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