I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
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