Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
