You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
