I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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