Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
