Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize