I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
