Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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