You just made me feel so damn special
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I want a musical about memes.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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