I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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