I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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