Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
