Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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