is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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