Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
