Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im holly from the hills drunk
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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