I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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