Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
