I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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