You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize