She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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