Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
