we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
