she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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