That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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