we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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