You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
