I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize