No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There's always time for handjobs
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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