so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
