im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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