Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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