My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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