Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
