i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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