yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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