And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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