oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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