And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
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When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
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I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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