Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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