bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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