elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
jump out the window naked night went bad
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
