YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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