just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
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One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
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The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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