Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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