oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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