so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
