I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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