There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
