is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize
